Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Stop the Fighting!



There is little that is more annoying than your children fighting with one another.  We end up yelling and fighting with them as well just to try and get them to stop.  How can we diffuse fighting without losing our cool?

One effective approach for dealing with fighting children is to use the energy drain method. 
When the fighting begins, first speak with empathy saying, “Oh boy, you guys must be really tired or really frustrated to be fighting with one another like this.   I am so tired myself now that you guys have drained all my energy.”

At this point, calmly let them know that they need to lie down and rest for a little while so you can have some quiet.  When they are able to come back out, follow up and have them do something to give you your energy back.  Some things that give me energy are having kids mop my floors, clean a bathroom, pay me some of their allowance, etc. 

Don’t explain your decision to them; let them figure it out how they got that consequence.  The important thing with love and logic is not to waste your time with meaningless words.  Calmly and simply state what is going to happen and most importantly, follow through!


Empty threats and lectures do not teach children, but calm consequence does!

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