Monday, December 26, 2016

Get your "but" out of the way!




Do you have a BS story you tell yourself? You know that excuse you have that lets you off the hook and becomes the reason why you can't get your house clean, run a marathon, lose weight, write a novel, get up earlier, etc.

The difference between you and the people who actually do these things is not the reason you think it is. It is not because they are naturally thinner or more athletic; they are not morning people or neat freaks. It is because you allowed your "but" to get in the way. I would clean house, but the kids just mess it up. I would lose 10 pounds, but I have a slow metabolism. I would train for a marathon, but I am not an athlete. I would write a novel, but I don’t have time to write. These are just excuses that your mind uses; they are your “but.” If you really wanted to do these things, you would get your but out of the way and do them. That is what people who achieve do. They stop giving themselves a free pass and an excuse and they quit stopping. They start exerting self-control and discipline.

 Most of what you accomplish in life has everything to do with your mind and very little to do with your body. Recently I was watching a survival show and everyone started out positive, excited and set on winning. As soon as those people started getting down or discouraged, as soon as they let negativity take root in their minds, then their bodies started to fail them. They didn’t realize that their mind was the greatest tool they had for survival, and once they lost control of it, they might as well lie down and die. It is the same with goals. Your body never wants to anything. Your mind forces it to do whatever the mind sets as a goal. Once you get control of your thoughts and stop telling yourself that excuse story and start telling yourself positive words and affirmations, you can do anything you choose to do.

Self-discipline is THE single most important thing for achieving goals.

Anyone can run a marathon, anyone can lose 10 pounds, anyone can keep a clean, organized house, and anyone can get up an hour earlier. Control your thoughts and you will control your body.
Want to start achieving in 2017?

*Make smart goals that have steps and are measurable.

*Write your goals down.
 *Don't share your goals. Recent research has shown that telling people you are going to do something, gives your brain the same boost as doing it. Don't reward yourself until the goal is reached. Wait to tell people after you have done it.
*Get control of your mind. Remember that to achieve something; you must be willing to give something up...sleep, food, time...in order to achieve. You must be willing to accept some discomfort whether it is physical-pain, hunger or whether it is mental-fear. You must tell your body that it is okay to feel discomfort.
 *Get your but out of the way. Stop accepting that story you have been telling yourself. You can do anything you set your mind to doing.

Goal Setting With Kids
“The tragedy in life does not lie in not reaching your goal, the tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.” -Benjamin Mays

One of the most important things we did on our parenting journey with our kids was regular goal setting. Every New Year’s Day we take our children out for a nice dinner and review our year. Each person tells their favorite memories from the year and how they did on the goals they set a year ago. Then, we make our goals for the coming year. It is so fun for kids to be able to share their successes of the year so we make the dinner a big celebration of goals reached.

Kids are natural goal setters. They have hopes and dreams for the future, what they want to do and what they want to be. The also start life with a lot of self-efficacy and hope. They naturally do not put limits on their dreams. As parents, we help them take their dreams and make them smart. We help make the goals specific and measurable. We help them narrow it so it is attainable and realistic within the time frame of one year. The goals are posted on their bedroom walls so they see them every day and periodically we check in with them on how it is going.

What makes goal setting so powerful for kids is that they really see the connection between hard work and success. They see that their choices and the decisions they make affect their success. These are great lessons for kids to learn early in life and will benefit them so much as adults. As a parent of grown children I have been able to see first-hand the good that goal setting did for my kids. I can look back on their goals and see what made them become reality.

Try it with your kids and see what amazing things they can accomplish with a little hard work and perseverance.

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